Antivan Treats and Crying Seekers
by 8ron
Summary: After a morning of dull meetings, Lavellan finds herself being stripped of her title and left as an adviser, whilst Cassandra cries on Varric's shoulder, and Leliana starts more trouble than she solves. Cullen x Inquisitor (Cover image is by cccrystalclear on tumblr. You should totally check out her blog: cccrystalclear.tumblr. com)
1. Chapter 1

"Vivienne is becoming a problem." Leliana curled her lip ever so slightly, the tiny sign of resentment going unnoticed by all but Josephine, who gave her friend a worried look.

"Well don't look at me," Gwen grumbled, oblivious to her bad mood and quickly turning irritable herself. The war meeting had only meant to last them an hour, but with half the mages threatening to rebel again, the Inquisitor and her advisers had been stuck pouring over maps for the entire morning, and were no doubt going to be carrying on for a while yet. Her feet ached already. "I wanted you to be divine. But obviously my word means less than nothing… despite saving the world from a huge hole in the sky." She muttered, frowning down at Leliana's latest report whilst rubbing her swollen belly absentmindedly.

"I can't believe you still thought you got to pick the next divine." Cullen mumbled with a smirk. The amusement lacing his voice was not subtle, and his wife flashed him a dangerous glare in return.

"Well, I just figured it was one of the perks. I got to pick who ruled Orlais."

"You didn't _pick._ Please stop saying you picked. It wasn't like choosing a mini cake at a party. You negotiated an agreement through careful diplomacy." Josephine all but groaned, having gone through this conversation more than once.

"And by finding a naked man on Empress Celene's bed." Gwen added.

"That's the diplomacy part."

Her eyebrows rose with delight, seeing the chance to tease and taking it without a moment's hesitation. "Is that so ambassador? I had no idea this is how your diplomatic talks played out."

"I didn't - ! That's not what I – Guineveeere!" Josephine groaned, hiding her blushing cheeks behind her papers. Her flustered state earned a laugh from Cullen and Gwen. Though Leliana remained as stern as ever, still in a bad mood. Shame. She would have found that joke hilarious a month ago.

"Be that as it may," the spymaster mumbled, "the rebel mages are not happy that Divine Vivienne has reinstated the circles. Though some have decided to stay with the inquisition, the rest are threatening another war. We must –" Leliana was cut short as the doors slowly creaked open.

Everyone's spine stiffened in unison. It was common knowledge that these meetings were strictly private. The Inquisitor and her advisers were not to be interrupted, partly because they frequently talked about delicate situations, and wandering ears were not welcome. Mainly due to the fact that interruptions meant these meetings lasted longer.

As a result, Cullen's temper flared like boiling water, and he spoke up first, turning to their intruder with his best scowl. Maker help him if it was Jim again, that would be humiliating.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS INTERUPPTION?"

Instead, Cullen came face to face with his daughter, wide eyed and sniffling as she was unexpectedly yelled at, by the man who was always meant to be happy to see her, on top of everything.

"Daddy?" There was a moment's silence, but he could see it coming, they all could. A wobble of her lip, a glance to her mother, and then the tears started, crying loudly and reaching out to be cuddled.

"Maker's breath. Kya." He moved to pick her up, but was beaten to it by Gwen, who swept her oldest onto her hip despite being nine months pregnant, much to his dismay. "My darling girl! Why are you crying?"

"D-Daddy shouted at me!"

Guilt hit him without mercy, knocking the breath from his lungs, forcing his throat to close. Cullen tried to apologize, but had barely opened his mouth before Josephine was stepping forward and speaking over him.

"Don't get upset, Kya. Your grumpy papa shouts all the time." She said, wandering closer, Leliana following.

"Yes, just ignore him, ma Cherie. That's what we all do."

"Excuse me, but I'm right here!" He went ignored, huffing and puffing and left wishing he could just hug his daughter without their meddling.

Instead, Gwen perched her on the end of the war table. Work was forgotten, and immediately all three women surrounded Kya as they tried to help her cheer up. Josephine offered to get out her hidden chocolate stash, treats all the way from Antiva, including the strawberry flavoured ones Kya enjoyed so much. Leliana cooed over her pink little shoes, complimenting her dress and offering to sing her favourite lullaby. While Gwen remained relatively quiet, instead catching the tears that pooled under her eyes with gentle thumbs, and giving her a soft smile that said everything was alright.

"I – I didn't mean to interrupt." Kya stuttered with a little hiccup, cheeks wet and nose runny, successfully pulling on his gut.

He cleared he throat, trying to find an opening and hopelessly failing. "Kya, I'm so –."

"Of course not, darling!" Gwen cooed, "but we're very glad you did. These war meetings are horribly dull without you."

"Oh yes!" Leliana agreed, bitter mood long gone. "The last time you joined us, why, you were still a little baby. I remember you chewing on the figurines and being sick all over your father's favourite pauldrons."

"Yes. We all remember _that_ very fondly," Josephine said. All three laughed, and soon Kya was joining in with her own playful giggles, though she didn't understand the joke.

"Sorry to interrupt," he lied, "but may I enquire as to the where-abouts of your babysitter, my dear?" Finally Cullen had managed to get a word in. Though it hardly seemed worth it, as four head swivelled to glare.

Maker, but he was always outnumbered by women in this room.


	2. Chapter 2

"I don't know why you're all glaring," Cullen grumbled, trying to resist the urge to rub his neck, "someone somewhere is no doubt looking for her."

"Good point." Gwen allowed, pursing her lips in thought. "Cassandra was watching you this morning. Why aren't you with her, Kya?"

"Oh…. That." Kya suddenly looked guilty, head down, cheeks red, and Cullen was very much reminded of his wife's own guilty expression. "Auntie Sandra was arguing with Mr Tethras about his book. So me and Bain started playing knights and dragons, but he said I had to be the dragon, and then he hit me really hard with his stupid sword! Right here. See!?" She stretched her arm out and they inspected it as one. Cullen could accept that a patch of skin did look a little red, but Bain was two years younger and used to being bossed around by his older sister. He highly doubted this was the full story. "Then I said I wanted to be a knight. But he said girls couldn't be knights. So I… um… so I hit him. But it wasn't hard! And he hit me first! But Bain started crying like a big baby and taddle tailed to Auntie Sandra even though I told him not to. That's when I ran away."

All four adults had very different reactions. Gwen looked worn out more than anything, and let out an exasperated sigh. Josephine seemed a little shocked, as she was still under the – sadly self-indulgent - impression that Kya was a sweet girl who preferred tea parties to fighting. Whilst Leliana didn't seem surprised at all, if anything, she was thoroughly amused, and laughed loudly for the first time in weeks.

Cullen was just annoyed, and tired… so very tired.

"It's all well and good you laughing, Leliana. Now she'll think its fine to hit her brother."

"Oh please! Children fight all the time. Tell me you never hit one of your sisters when you were young?"

"Never!"

"Did they ever hit you?"

"Ye – no… maybe. This isn't about me." He ignored his blushing cheeks, and turned away from her to better face his daughter, dad mode on and ready to scold. "Kya, of course girls can be knights. But you should not have hit your – "

"Then why did Bain say they couldn't?!" She snapped, pouting now, and testing his patience.

"Little boys aren't always right, Kya." Gwen murmured, smiling still, "you can be a knight if you want to be a knight."

"Are you a knight, Mummy?"

"Err… no. But I'm – "

"Auntie Josie? Are you a knight?"

"No?"

"Auntie Leliana?"

"I'm afraid not. No."

"What about you, Daddy?" She pointed at him, frowning now with the most serious face she could muster for a girl still in petticoats and pigtails. "Are you a knight?"

Maker help him, but his six year old daughter was oddly intimidating. "Um… y-yes."

"See!? Daddys' a knight. And he's not a girl. But you're all girls, and you're _not_ knights."

"Auntie Sandra is a knight of sorts." Gwen said.

"No she's not. No one calls her 'Sir Auntie Sandra.'"

They shared a smile at the thought, before Cullen continued the debate with an awkward rub of his neck. "People call Auntie Sa – er, you're Aunt, Lady Pentaghast. It's a sign of respect, because she's a seeker. Which is _much_ more impressive than a mere knight." He said, ignoring the fact that Cassandra hated being referred to by her title. Best hope Kya didn't start.

"Really?"

"Absolutely. And your mother is The_ Inquisitor_. Much better than a knight. That's a very powerful title." He added.

"Not powerful enough to pick the next divine, apparently." Gwen muttered under her breath, receiving a small jab in the ribs from Josephine.

"More powerful than a knight?" Kya asked, giving her mother a dubious look. After all, she'd only ever seen Gwen changing nappies and making sure her children ate all their greens. She'd didn't even know her mother had slain dragons, defeated an ancient darkspawn, and considered killing demons an easy day.

"I could beat your father, if that's what you mean." She said, lips tugging into a sly smile as she flashed Cullen a cheeky wink.

That was certainly not what she'd meant. But it had gotten Kya excited nevertheless, and she stood up on the table with a jump, knocking over several place marks on the map.

"Then I shall be an Inquizirate… an Inquisurrul… a…"

"Inquisitor."

"Inquizriter?"

"Close enough." Leliana said, stepping forward and fully prepared to play. "You will need advisers then, if that is the case, Inquisitor Kya. May I volunteer myself and Auntie Josie?"

"Yes you may."

"Oh and me! Can I be an adviser?" Gwen was joining in now, happy to be demoted.

"Okay Mummy. You too. Only _girls_ can be advisers. And only _I_ can be Inquisretar. Daddy, you're the knight."

"No. This is ridiculous."

He was shushed by his wife almost instantly, and all three women gave him the coldest glares he'd ever received, making his toes curl inside their boots.

"Fine! Fine. I'm the knight."

"What is your first order of business, Inquisitor Kya?" Leliana asked, giving the girl a low bow with a flourish of her hand.

"My first order of business is getting rid of my little brother. Bain shall be banished! To the naughty step for eternity!"

"Eternity on the naughty step? Oooh. That may be a little harsh, Inquisitor. Perhaps you should hear our advice first?" Gwen said, clearly enjoying herself. "I believe you should forgive your brother. Maybe if you asked nicely, Auntie Josie would give you some of her chocolates, and you could go share them with him?"

"Hmmmmm. Next."

"Well I think you should try talking to your brother." Josephine this time, flicking her quill as if this were a real meeting. "It is best to handle these situations with careful words and clever politics. We could write a note to him together, inviting him to a peaceful meeting to apologise."

"Ehhhhhhhh."

"No! Secrecy is the way to go." Leliana, smirked, an evil twinkle in her eye as she ignored the warning looks Kya's parents both sent her way. "You should discover all of Bain's secrets, and threaten to tell them should he ever… taddle tail on you again."

"**Leliana!"** Cullen, Gwen, and Josephine said in unison, several shades of horrified.

"Of course," she added, clearing her throat, "apologising could work as well. Let the enemy think you're on peaceful terms, for now."

"Hmmmm yes. Yes. Sir Daddy!" Kya said, planting her hands on her hips. "Summon Bain to the grand hall! I shall judge him from my throne."

A bad plan. A very bad plan. Why was he always the one who had to remain an adult?

"Why don't we go together, Kya? An Inquisitor will look much more… err... impressive with her advisers in tow. And I'm sure Auntie Sandra is _very _worried about you by now." He said the last sentence through gritted teeth, hoping to get the point across to his wife, whos frowned at him for a few seconds before her eyes widened in sudden realization.

"By the dread wolf. Yes! Yes, of course. Poor Cassandra must be climbing the walls by now." Suddenly in a rush, she pulled The Inquisitor off the war table and began to lead the way out, practically trotting as the others struggled to follow, Kya looking at them dolefully over her mother's shoulder.


	3. Chapter 3

Climbing the walls was an understatement. The grand hall was in utter chaos. Cassandra had clearly panicked, and it looked like everyone in Skyhold was frantically searching for The Inquisitor's daughter. Cullen could see the Charger's running around, knocking into each other as they checked under chairs and poked behind doors. Iron Bull himself was sat on the steps by Gwen's throne, weeping into his hands and crying out that he'd just seen the little pipsqueak an hour ago, while Krem patted him on the back in a poor attempt to calm him down. Even the visiting nobles were helping, fanning themselves as they scurried around and tried not to swoon, some accomplishing this more than others.

"Oh Kya. This is why you shouldn't run off." Gwen muttered, wandering into the throng and heading outside. No one even noticed them in their mad state, screaming Kya's name as the girl in question was calmly carried past them. "Leliana, start telling people we've found her and get the word to spread. Josephine, could you go make sure Bull's okay? I've never seen him so… distraught. Maybe bring him some tissues."

"I thought I was the Inquizrelar?" Kya muttered into her mother's shoulder. Shy after seeing the trouble she'd caused, but still stubborn enough to fight for her title.

Cullen was ready to start scolding her when Leliana butted in yet again, the only one who was still amused by the whole charade. "You are, ma Cherie! We're waiting for your orders, of course." She tugged Josephine back, who looked ready to protest until the spymaster pinched her in the arm and held her in place.

"Do what Mummy says." Kya muttered quickly, tears once again welling in her eyes, and they went off with a 'yes Inquisitor.'

"This is your fault, Gwen." Cullen was grumbling as soon as they left, glaring at his wife as he pulled Kya off her pregnant belly and carried her himself, happy to finally get to hug her. Clammy little hands clutched onto his neck, and Kya hid her weeping face underneath his chin, sobbing gently and dampening his collar, not that he minded. "You encouraged this."

"I didn't realise Cassandra was turning the grounds inside out looking for her! How was I meant to know?" They made it outside and begun to descend the long steps towards the Inn. Of course, it was just as chaotic out here, though everyone was more spread out. Sera was stood on the roof, promising Kya cookies if she'd only stop hiding. Blackwall ran straight past them, sweaty and shouting. Cullen noted his recruits had joined the search as well, and would have been happy about it, had he not known his daughter was perfectly safe and in his arms.

As it was, he was just irritated that they weren't practising. He'd given them strict instructions that morning to –

"Theres Cassandra! Oh maker, she isn't crying is she?" Kya ran ahead, though in her state, that wasn't much faster than her walk. Cullen looked up to see the Seeker sat on the grass outside the inn, indeed crying.

"Makers breath, Kya. You made Cassandra cry. I didn't think Cassandra even knew _how_ to cry."

Much like Iron Bull, the poor seeker had her head in her hands, but was sobbing much louder. Heavy cries that shook her whole body. Varric was by her side, arm over her shoulders as he insisted everything would be alright.

"Please stop crying, Seeker. The kids resourceful! I bet shes just gone to her room."

"We – we – we checked her room!" Cassandra wailed, sniffling loudly.

"Yes, well, maybe she went to find her parents."

"Oh they'll kill me when they find out! How am I meant to tell them, Varric? I _lost_ her!"

"It's ganna' be fine! We'll find her before the meetings done. She's –" he looked up, locking eyes with Cullen, seeing the burden he carried, and sighing in relief. "She's here, seeker."

"What?" Cassandra's head popped up, cheeks streaked with makeup and eyes a bloody red. Her lips pulled into a wide grin though, crying out as she rushed past Gwen and straight to Cullen.

It was a little unnerving, he'd never had the seeker charge at him like that. And he stumbled backwards before she pulled Kya from his arms and hugged her tightly, smothering her face with kisses.

"Ah! Auntie Sandra! Not in public… !" Her protests went unnoticed, and Cassandra continued to shower her in a rare affection so little others received – really, no one else but Bain. Until her grief overwhelmed her joy, and Cassandra put Kya on the ground and knelt in front of her, sniffling. "Don't ever do that again! Promise, never again!"

"I promise, Auntie Sandra."

Meanwhile, Bain had already started to plead his case, tugging on his mother's hand and looking close to tears himself. "It wasn't my fault, ma! Honest. I didn't do it."

It was safe to say, Cullen was at the end of his tether. He was already mentally rehearsing the lecture they were about to receive. The two had successfully stopped the _entire_ Inquisition from working all morning (an impressive feat if you thought about it), they'd bickered, they'd hit each other, and, probably worst of all, they'd made their guardian for the day cry… and Cassandra never cried.

"You two. Here. _Now."_ Though he didn't raise his voice, his tone brokered no argument, and Kya and Bain spared their mother a hopeful glance before standing before their father, avoiding his glare. "I hope you're both happy, you've successfully stopped -

"YOU FOUND HER!" He was interrupted for, what? The seventh time that morning? By Iron Bull, who charged down the stairs with a wail. Cassandra and Krem trotted further behind, carrying tissues and a box of half eaten chocolates.

The qunari swept both Kya and Bain into the air with one arm each, and they let out peals of delight as he swung them around, clinging onto his horns. Though it only made Cullen's stomach flip, worried he'd drop them. "Kya are you okay?! Where'd you go? Here, we have chocolates! KREM! THE COCOLATES!"

"And I have cookies!" Sera suddenly announced, having clambered off the roof and jogging to join them.

In a matter of minutes his children were surrounded once more and being showered in treats and praise. He gave up. There was no point. By the time he could try to teach them a lesson, it would be time to put them to bed and they would have done a million other naughty things that he would no doubt have to worry about.

"Quite a morning. Don't you think?" Gwen murmured by his side, hand sliding down his arm before entwining their fingers together and capturing his full attention.

"I'm exhausted."

"Then I don't know what you're going to do, dear husband, when number three decides to join the fun." The smile she gave him was positively wicked, and Cullen could only stare at her swollen belly with a frightful groan.

"Maker's breath."


End file.
